So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
