I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
