Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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