I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
