As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
