I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
