how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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