That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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