oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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