Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize