Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
