How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize