Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
