Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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