on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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