Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize