3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
