I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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