I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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