i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
