Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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