there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I deserve this hangover.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
