i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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