doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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