I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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