i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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