I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
