god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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