She's JV to your varsity
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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