Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Drake has all the answers
Ladies don't puke and tell
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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