Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my poor anus
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
