Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
