Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
