i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
