Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
