...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
