i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
