do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
