You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
