we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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