I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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