is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
