He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
