fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize