After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
