hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I just sharted jello shots
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