i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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