Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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