I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
