My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
