I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
