my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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