this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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