cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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