some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My pussy is not your playground.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
