JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
