His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
