i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
