Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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