So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
