dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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