Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize