So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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