Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
