I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
