I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
